Orthodoxy Before Orthopraxy: Taking Theology Home
If you have been with us through our journey in the book of Colossians, you know the rhythm by now: Orthodoxy before Orthopraxy. Right thinking always leads to right living.
In the first two chapters, Paul lays a heavy doctrinal foundation, reminding the church that Christ is preeminent, sufficient, and Lord of all. But theology isn’t meant to just sit in our heads; it’s meant to walk around in our lives. In chapter 3, Paul begins applying this massive theology to the most practical, raw, and revealing place in our lives: our homes.
When you bring two imperfect human beings under the same roof, life gets tough. But a biblical marriage isn’t built on finding a perfect partner; it is built on both people completely surrendering to a perfect Savior.
Function, Not Value: A Biblical View of Submission
In Colossians 3:18, Paul writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” In the first-century culture, women were often treated as property with no rights. But Paul’s words here are actually radically countercultural. The Bible makes it clear that men and women are both divine image-bearers of God (Genesis 1:27) and fellow heirs of grace (1 Peter 3:7). You are entirely equal in value.
Biblical submission has absolutely nothing to do with your value; it has to do with your function and God’s design for order.
- It is a choice. It is a willing attitude to honor and support. It never involves submitting to sin, abuse, or disobedience to God.
- It is an exercise of faith. When you honor the biblical order of the home, you are ultimately expressing your faithful obedience to Christ.
- It is deeply influential. The core question every man secretly asks himself, regardless of his age, is, “Do I still have it?” He wants to know if he is still valuable to the person he loves most. Wives, your respect has life-changing influence. Do you mostly correct him, or do you cheer for him?
Sacrificial Love: Becoming the “Lead Repenter”
In verse 19, the spotlight shifts: “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
The word Paul uses for love here is Agape—the unconditional, sacrificial love of Christ. A Christ-like husband elevates his wife’s needs above his own, gladly accepting the role of a servant. Headship is not dictatorship; it is loving leadership. If you want your wife to submit to your leadership, you have to give her someone worth following!
How does a husband actively love his wife like Christ loves the church?
- Be Present and Listen: Sometimes, she doesn’t want you to fix the problem; she just wants you to listen to her. Put the phone down, turn the game off, and make her the most valuable person in the room.
- Exercise Self-Control: Do not be harsh or bitter. Stop keeping score and bringing up past mistakes just to win an argument. Guard your words, your tone, and your timing.
- Be the Lead Repenter: A biblical man owns his junk. When you mess up, be the first one to step up, admit your faults, and ask for forgiveness.
It Takes Three
There is an old song that says, “Just the two of us, we can make it if we try.” That might be a nice sentiment for romantic love, but it is terrible theology for biblical love! It takes way more than two to make a marriage survive. It takes three.
Christ must be the center. When both husband and wife seek to honor the Lord first, the home actually becomes a living, breathing testimony of the gospel. You serve God better together than you do apart.
Lord Jesus,
Thank You for being the ultimate example of sacrificial love and servant leadership. Whether I am married, single, or walking through a season of rebuilding, help me to anchor my relationships in Your grace. Give me the humility to put others’ needs above my own. Forgive me for the times I have kept score, spoken harshly, or let pride lead my home. Teach me how to be quick to listen, eager to cheer on the people I love, and always ready to be the first to repent. Let my life and my home be a reflection of Your gospel.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Take a hard look at your closest relationships this week. Are you actively choosing to cheer for the people you love, or are you quick to criticize? Take a moment today to pray with (or for) your spouse or a loved one. And remember, no matter what season your family or marriage is in right now, at ONE Church, No ONE Walks Alone.
